Saturday, February 9, 2008

On forgiveness.....

Everytime I think of this word, I realise that it is something that is really hard to do. It is easy to say that we forgive but when the thoughts start to flow in our minds and the unhappiness again come into our thoughts, the welling up of feelings of unforgiveness is so easy to bubble over.

We are at best human and in the "humananess" of our 'psyche', it is always much more convenient for us to assign blame and responsibility for the things that happen in our lives to others. The unfortunate justifications that take place is evidence always of the fact that we have been contributory to the wrongs that have occured.

Words that are said are hard to retract. everything said in retaliation always leave scars that are hard to erase. Such cutting words are like tattoos etched into the skin. You haev to cut it up before the marks can be removed.

Over the past few days in Singapore over this Chinese New Year period, I have been seeking God for answers and for him to help me deal with the lesions of unforgiveness that are still with me. Everytime I pray for divine help in this area, I see a finger pointed at myself. Everytime I ask for revelation, I see myself. I can explain away my roles in the travesty of injustices that have taken place but the truth is I have been as much a culprit as I have been a victim.

If I could, I would go back to everyone I may have seemed to wrong (does not matter if I think they have been at fault) and apologise to them. God way is for me to say "sorry" and to ask for penance to be paid. I pray that the people I haev stepped will forgive me and accept that I am repentant. I no longer want to see how "right" I have been. I only want to see how right God is when he encourages me to ask for forgiveness.

I pray that God will continue to direct me in this very delicate area and cause a harmonising of discord to come forth. Forgiveness lifts that heavy load from us - a load of unnecesary conscience that cluster our lives further. I pray for such a lifting of that load that is still with me. May his mercy endure forever.....

1 comment:

Feni said...

You never cease to amaze me with your wit and your literary skill that are razor sharp, even at 4.51 am.
About forgiveness,
When the stove is switched on, the heat will cause the meat to curl in and shrink. Likewise, when the heat of life challenges comes, our hearts shrink in pain and harden. Pride only allows for self-righteousness and no other.
Jesus, the Righteous Sinless One bearing the sins of the whole world, chose to bless His enemies instead. Forgiveness is not an ability; it is a choice. A great friend says that difficulty is only in the mind and the worst can still be overcome. If you could brush aside your fear, doubts and even the knee pain, purposed to crawl there if need be and still were able to reach the submit...likewise, throw off all hurts, draw strength from God and just forgive... surely you will stand tall on the mountain of breakthroughs, enjoying the warmth of God's love and be comforted by His wind of great peace and unsurpassing joy. Glory to God in the highest, He who is concerned with your welfare. The complete Godhead bodily dwells in you and you have been made complete(Col 2:9-10), equipped in Christ Jesus to do good works (Eph 2:10). Amen.